Alcohol has long been a part of many cultures, celebrations, and social interactions. But as non-alcoholic options rise in popularity and more people choose sobriety, the question of what defines a "healthy relationship" with alcohol is becoming more prevalent. According to a 2023 Gallup poll, 62% of adults under 35 drink alcohol, a noticeable decrease from 72% in 2003.
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| You shouldn't rely on alcohol to manage your stress or anxiety. SimpleImages via Getty Images |
However, the same poll shows that those over 55 are drinking more now than they did 20 years ago. This disparity indicates that society’s views on alcohol are far from uniform.
Understanding alcohol's risks and rewards has become increasingly confusing. For years, red wine was believed to benefit heart health, but that data was flawed. Simultaneously, social norms have made it acceptable to ask why someone isn’t drinking at a party—despite the inappropriate nature of the question.
Adding to the complexity, alcohol is often a means for people to bond with friends or family, yet growing research emphasizes that alcohol is harmful to health. Classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer, alcohol is a known cause of cancer.
With evolving research and social standards, many are left wondering what their relationship with alcohol should look like. Is it safe to drink? Are we drinking too much? While these questions are deeply personal, understanding the facts about alcohol can help individuals make informed decisions.
Alcohol’s Impact on Health: A Multi-Faceted Issue
The notion of a “healthy relationship” with alcohol can be misleading, says Dr. John Kelly, director of the Massachusetts General Hospital Recovery Research Institute. He suggests that, at best, we can talk about a “healthier” relationship with alcohol, given that alcohol poses health risks even at low levels.
“Alcohol harms us through three primary pathways,” Kelly explains. First, through addiction, which is widely recognized. Second, through intoxication, which impairs mental functioning even at low consumption levels. The third and often overlooked pathway is toxicity—such as the increased risk of cancer, liver disease, and other health problems.
Dr. Emily Hartwell, assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, adds that alcohol doesn’t just affect your physical health. It impacts your brain’s neurotransmitters, including GABA, serotonin, and dopamine. “Unlike many other drugs, alcohol hits many areas that control our bodily functions and mental health,” Hartwell says. For individuals prone to conditions like depression, drinking alcohol can exacerbate symptoms.
Even those who don’t struggle with mental health issues aren’t immune. Alcohol can amplify feelings of stress, anxiety, or sadness, leaving you feeling worse after the effects wear off. Hartwell emphasizes that alcohol, while often used to relieve tension, can backfire once it leaves your system, potentially leading to feelings of anxiety or depression.
Evaluating Your Relationship with Alcohol
So, is it okay to drink? The answer depends on the individual. Still, guidelines do exist to minimize risk. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), "low-risk drinking" is defined as no more than seven drinks per week for women and 14 for men, with no more than three drinks in a single day for women or four for men. For individuals 65 and older, the limits drop to seven drinks per week or three per day.
But it’s crucial to note that even low-risk drinking doesn’t eliminate risk. “We need to be informed about what we’re doing,” Kelly says. “We drive fast, eat unhealthy foods, and engage in activities we know are bad for us, but we do so knowingly. The alcohol industry has allowed misinformation to flourish for profit, but it’s not in the interest of public health.”
Hartwell agrees. “People are still going to drink. We can share all the scary statistics, but it won’t change behavior overnight. The important thing is that people understand the risks they’re taking.”
Once you’re fully informed, it’s up to you whether you want to indulge in that glass of wine or beer. The key is making sure your decision is based on facts, not misconceptions.
Recognizing the Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship with Alcohol
A major warning sign of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol is using it to cope with emotions. “If alcohol becomes the go-to solution for managing anxiety, dealing with conflict, or unwinding after a tough day, it can easily turn into a problem,” says Johanna Jones, a licensed counselor at Thriveworks in Blacksburg, Virginia.
Alcohol is a depressant, Jones explains. If you’re drinking to relax or socialize, you might be masking deeper emotional challenges. Over time, alcohol can become a mental crutch. If your coping strategy consistently involves pouring a drink, it might be time to reassess.
Another red flag is increased tolerance. “Many people see a high tolerance as a badge of honor,” Hartwell says, “but it’s actually a sign of trouble.” When you need more alcohol to feel the same effects, your body is experiencing increased harm, even if you don’t feel drunk.
Additionally, consider whether alcohol is affecting your life in non-financial ways. Is it straining your relationships or impacting your job performance? Are you putting your health and safety at risk? These are all questions worth asking.
Online screening tools, such as those offered by the CDC or CheckUp & Choices, can help you assess your drinking habits in private. If alcohol is affecting your life negatively, it’s important to explore resources like the NIAAA for further support.
Some People Shouldn’t Drink at All
For some, a healthy relationship with alcohol simply isn’t possible. Those with a history of alcohol use disorder or medical conditions exacerbated by drinking are particularly vulnerable. Individuals with a family history of alcohol problems are also at higher risk of developing their own issues with drinking.
“There’s no universal answer to how much alcohol is okay,” Hartwell says. “For some people, the risks far outweigh the benefits.”
Knowing your limits and making decisions based on your own circumstances is key. No one else should dictate your choices regarding alcohol—whether you decide to drink or not is a deeply personal decision.
Alcohol’s Role in Society: Changing Norms and Perspectives
Culturally, alcohol holds a complex place in our lives. It’s often viewed as a way to unwind or celebrate, but attitudes are beginning to shift. The rise of sober-curious movements, alcohol-free bars, and an increasing focus on wellness are challenging traditional norms.
For many, drinking has become less about alcohol and more about the social experience. And as non-alcoholic options become more mainstream, people are realizing they don’t need alcohol to have a good time.
At the same time, social pressure to drink remains strong. Whether it’s at a wedding, a birthday party, or a work event, alcohol is often expected. This societal expectation can be challenging for those who choose sobriety, but it’s important to stand by your decisions and communicate your boundaries clearly.
The Future of Alcohol Consumption: A Mixed Bag
While the popularity of alcohol-free beverages is on the rise, alcohol consumption remains ingrained in many aspects of life. Public health experts are continuing to raise awareness about alcohol’s risks, but change happens slowly.
As more research emerges, it’s clear that alcohol isn’t as harmless as many once believed. But for most people, completely abstaining from alcohol may not be realistic or desirable. What’s most important is understanding the risks, making informed choices, and recognizing when drinking becomes problematic.
The concept of a “healthy relationship” with alcohol is evolving. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but by understanding the facts and evaluating your own habits, you can make decisions that align with your health and wellbeing.
Making Conscious Choices
Ultimately, whether or not to drink is a personal choice. But as research continues to uncover the effects of alcohol, it’s clear that moderation, awareness, and self-reflection are essential. Whether you decide to enjoy a glass of wine or opt for a non-alcoholic alternative, what matters is that your decision is informed by facts rather than societal expectations.
Dr. Kelly reminds us that, like many other health risks, alcohol’s dangers are a matter of informed consent. “We take risks all the time, but we do so knowingly. The same should apply to alcohol.” The more we understand alcohol’s impact, the better equipped we are to make choices that serve our health and happiness.
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